Lady In Waiting

In my younger years I pursued one relationship after another. I couldn’t go a month without needing another man in my life; I didn’t want to be alone. I was able to save my virginity through high school but soon after I had given it away. I was able to go through a couple of years of promiscuous living without becoming pregnant. End of summer 2007, that didn’t reign true anymore. I ended up having a son in April 2008; he changed my life forever.

After having my son, I continued in the party/club scene for another year. I hadn’t been steadily seeing anyone and although I had periods in my life where I was “engaged” they never lasted. I would get in a relationship, fall in “love”, and within another couple of months I was ready to move on. I never did get married…heart cross

Eventually I got out of the party scene, and tried settling down. I was working full-time and attending college full-time, trying to figure out what I wanted to be when I grew up. A couple of failed engagements really turned me off to ever finding the one. Luckily, some old friends I had knew when I was younger were children pastors at a local church, and not having the opportunity to grow up in church, I wanted something different for my son. We started attending a local church, my son and I both loved it! By this time, my son was three and was learning so much.

I had introduced my son to so many men whom I assumed would eventually be his father, but they never played out. While being immersed in church and God I came to a revelation – God was the one I was searching for the whole time. God was going to need to be the one that I pursued in a relationship. A hole I had my entire life could only be filled by Him.

During my journey I finally found the acceptance and love I needed, it was never meant for a man to fulfill that need, that yearning…

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