“for God’s gifts and his call are irrevocable”
Are you sure God? Don’t you mean for someone else? You couldn’t possibly mean this verse is for me; all that I’ve done against you and those around me. I’ve felt so inadequate for so long. I know that God had a calling on my life but I had done so much in the past, He couldn’t possibly still have a calling on my life. Could He really use me, now, after all that I had done?
In 2003, after graduating high school, I went to an internship at a church in the Dallas area. It was a 1 year internship, serving in youth and college aged ministry. I loved writing the sermons, studying the word of God, starting my mornings in worship and prayer every day. I never really had been that faithful with daily reading of the word. This started a new chapter of my life; I was 18 and learning so much about myself, my calling, and God. I knew, beyond a shadow of a doubt, I was called to ministry at that point. I was within a month of completing the internship but my dreams were crushed, it was my own fault, but I was devastated. At that time, I decided God couldn’t really use me anymore and the next 8 years were spent verifying that. With each failure, I felt further and further from God and the calling I knew he had placed on my life.
I spent the next 7 years of my life, in and out of church, one bad decision after another, with only a few good choices thrown in. Three years ago I got involved with a local church. I decided I needed to raise my child in church and set a good example for him. God started healing my broken heart; he started restoring clarity to my mind. In the last year, God began reminding me of the calling on my life. Once again, the thoughts of not being enough entered my mind, I was a failure, always had been – did God still want to use me?
Just this weekend I stumbled across this verse in my daily reading. “For God’s gifts and his call are irrevocable.” (Romans 11:29) All the negative thoughts I had towards myself and the calling God had placed on my heart, they were lies. This verse has given me a new passion; it has reminded me that God choose me, who am I, to deny the calling that God placed on my life. I am making a choice to do what God has called me to do. No longer can I deny that God has called me and set me apart.
Let me encourage you with this, this verse is for you too. The desires of your heart are there because God gave them to you; they are intertwined in your DNA. Don’t allow your thoughts and feelings to keep you from being what God has called you to be. Your past cannot keep you from the calling God has placed on your life, it was only a delay. Now is the time!